Prophet wouldn’t let her failed relationship die

The New London Day, Eastern Connecticut, May 30, 1999
By Kyn Tolson

Editor’s Note: This story is told by a 41-year-old school nurse who lives in southeastern Connecticut. She is getting a divorce and asked not to be identified in order to protect the identities of her children.

She was 23 and had just told her boyfriend that their romance was over. They had slipped into dating after knowing each other as friends. In fact, the two had come to The King’s Chapel together from a home-based church. They liked the new congregation, and ended up staying there about eight years, until 1989.

The early months, she says, were almost euphoric. The other parishioners were warm and loving. People sang and played guitars. The ministry, she remembers, seemed to really know God. They were energized and forceful in their preaching. “It was like they had a corner on the market. …They had a sense of commitment, and they’d build you up and make you feel important.”

Though her boyfriend’s affection for her was unwavering, she felt constrained. There never really had been the spark. She was sure it was time to go back to being just friends. She talked to him one night and thought the break was final.

Syro, however, thought differently.

The day after the breakup, her ex-boyfriend was in a “deliverance” at King’s Chapel with the church prophet and other leaders when Syro told him that the Lord had confirmed that he should marry the young woman.

She, at that moment, was in the church basement, helping with chores and caring for children. She was called upstairs to hear the good word.

“This was September. In 1981. And I was told they asked God (about a marriage), and God said December, that we should marry in December.

“Then Syro asked, ‘Lord, do you have a particular day?’ … And the Lord answered December sixth.

“I thought, who am I to question? I didn’t know what to do. … And then I said to Syro, ‘But he didn’t say a year!’ ”

The wrath she incurred from that desperate attempt to avoid marriage cowed her from making any further protest. She remembers standing there, dumbfounded. Witnessing it all were pastors John V. Monahan Jr., James Oakley, John Hibbert, and, of course, the man who was now her fiancé.

“Something died in me that day,” she said. “I had a migraine on my wedding day. I had to lie on the floor. … We had 16 years of a horrible marriage. We tried to make it work. And we have two wonderful children. …

“But I can’t do it anymore. I was dying in my marriage.”