LIVING HELL I survived the Waco cult when I was 11 – sometimes I wish I died in the fire with my family because real life is worse

The US Sun/March 23, 2023

By Luke Kenton

A survivor of the Waco siege who lost 10 relatives when the cult's base burst into flames during a police standoff has made a harrowing confession that he, at times, wishes he'd died in the fire too.

Kevin Jones, now 41, was just 11 years old when he escaped from Mount Carmel, a religious compound run by self-proclaimed messiah David Koresh, near Waco, Texas, that had been surrounded by federal authorities.

Five days earlier, on February 28, 1993, a cohort of agents from the U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms (ATF) had attempted to serve a warrant at Mt. Carmel after receiving reports that Koresh and his followers were illegally stockpiling weapons.

But unbeknownst to the ATF, Koresh had been tipped off about the raid minutes earlier and the agency's 80-or-so agents were met with an extraordinary barrage of gunfire as they approached the property.

A three-hour shootout would ensue. Four agents and several members of Koresh's Branch Davidians sect were killed, including Kevin's grandfather, Perry Jones.

A ceasefire was struck, but Koresh and the roughly 100 occupants of the compound refused to come out.

The FBI assumed jurisdiction over the conflict and nearly 900 law enforcement officials eventually surrounded Mt. Carmel, including a group of hostage negotiators.

For the next 51 days, the FBI attempted to negotiate their surrender. Peaceful tactics proved successful in the first few days and weeks of the stand-off, with Koresh agreeing to release two dozen children - including Kevin, his brother Mark, and his sister Heather - in exchange for food and other supplies.

But eventually, negotiators hit a wall, with Koresh prolonging the siege by debating with authorities about his interpretations of the Bible, declaring that his God-appointed authority placed him above the jurisdiction of the U.S. Government, and prophesizing the FBI's actions would result in rapture.

Authorities grew increasingly impatient as the weeks wore on. Then finally, on April 19, 1993, the FBI moved ahead with a plan to breach the compound by breaking holes into the building using Army vehicles and deploying hundreds of canisters of tear gas inside to smoke Koresh and his acolytes out.

But tragedy would soon strike. Within hours, Mt. Carmel was ravaged by multiple fires and razed to ash.

Seventy-six people were killed during the devastating blaze, including 25 children, two pregnant women, and Koresh. Only nine of the people inside survived.

Kevin Jones' father, David, and several of his aunts and young cousins were all named among the dead.

Almost 30 years on, Kevin told The U.S. Sun he has never found any satisfaction in being one of the few Branch Davidians to survive the siege.

In fact, he says, sometimes he wishes he'd never left the compound because adjusting to the real world in the years after the deadly inferno has been so difficult for him.

"It's usually been that with me - and my sister included - that I kind of wished I'd have gone with them, stayed in the compound, and died," Kevin emotionally declared.

"Life outside that place was so difficult and new.

"We were little kids when we at Mt. Carmel, so we didn't see any of the bad stuff that was going on [...] it was a very simple and sheltered life, but the outside world was much more complicated.

"Suddenly, I was seeing so many evil things on the news - people bombing each other, killing each other - and we'd been sheltered from all that stuff.

"It almost seemed easier that if we could go back in time and not leave, and we could just die there with everyone else, so we wouldn't have to deal with any of the nonsense we have to deal with today, then we would," he added.

"My sister struggled with the same thing [...] Life can be too hard and painful to deal with sometimes."

THE BRANCH DAVIDIANS

Kevin and his two siblings were born into the Branch Davidians, which is a fringe off-shoot of the Seventh-day Adventists founded by Ben Roden in the early 1960s.

The group believes the Bible to be the literal word of God and they look to it for clues of an impending Armageddon and the second coming of Christ.

Kevin was raised at Mt. Carmel during a turbulent time.

When Roden died in 1978, his wife Lois succeeded him as the head prophetess of the sect.

But three years later, a 22-year-old convert named Vernon Wayne Howell arrived at the compound and caused a stir.

Howell - who would later change his name to David Koresh - became involved romantically with Lois, then in her 60s, and after her death clashed with her son, George, over who was her rightful heir.

The Branch Davidians divided into two separate factions, but then, in 1987, a gun battle ensued during which George Roden was shot in the head and chest.

Koresh and seven of his followers - including Kevin's father - were arrested and put on trial for attempted murder.

All seven followers were acquitted and Koresh's case ended in a mistrial.

By 1990, Koresh was entirely in command of the group and considered their "Lamb" - or the only person capable of unlocking the Seven Seals and revealing to the world the true meaning of the Bible's teachings.

The identification allowed Koresh to justify some of his controversial and down-right disturbing practices, including taking various "spiritual wives", some of who were reportedly as young as 11.

Koresh was legally married to Kevin's aunt Rachel, with whom he tied-the-knot with when she was just 14.

He was also sexually involved with another of Kevin's aunts, Michelle, who had given birth to three of Koresh's children by the time she was 18 years old.

But for Kevin, he was unaware of the illegal ongoings and other disturbing acts being carried out under the whims and desires of his Uncle David.

He wasn't even sure how old his aunts were until he left the sect.

Instead, he spent much of his childhood in an oblivious state of bliss, utilizing his free time outside of school and his uncle David's apocalyptic sermons to adventure with his older brother Mark.

Together the pair would ride go-karts in the field, fish, swim, and do target practice with their father.

We were little kids when we at Mt. Carmel, so we didn't see any of the bad stuff that was going on [...] it was a very simple and sheltered life, but the outside world was much more complicated.

The two boys tried to avoid their uncle at all costs, having never really taken to him.

Kevin didn't really understand Koresh's end-of-the-world warnings and nicknamed him "Uncle Meanie Pants" for a series of verbal lashing he'd dealt him and his brother for incredibly minor infractions.

"David ran everything," remembered Kevin. "He chose what and when we could eat, what the women could and couldn't wear, and how long bible study would be each night - which could sometimes go on for hours.

"I remember one day - when I was a little kid, we ate practically everything and anything - all of a sudden, he decided we all needed to be vegetarians so we completely stopped eating meat.

"I don't remember him giving any reasons, but whenever he changed his mind on something - like when he started sleeping with other people's wives - he would just pull a line out of the Bible and say that God was telling him this was what he wanted him to do.

"He was always using the Bible to justify his whims or - as I learned later - fulfill his sexual desires.

"I don't see God coming to anyone and telling them to take everyone's daughters, wives, and children to start their own haram.

"But I never really liked him too much anyways," added Kevin.

"He was always busy and didn't really have time for anyone, but any time I did ask him something he'd just blow me off.

"He never spanked me or anything like that, but he just wasn't very nice."

THE SIEGE: DAY 1

On the morning of Feb. 28, 1993, Kevin's father David was making his usual rounds as a postman in the Waco area when he was approached by a cameraman from KWTX, who had gotten lost on his way to Mount Carmel.

The cameraman needed directions; he was on his way to the compound to cover an imminent federal raid.

David pointed the reporter in the wrong direction and raced back to the compound to tell Koresh what he had learned.

By the time two cattle trucks filled with federal agents came rumbling down the property's long driveway Koresh and his flock was already lying in wait.

Kevin was none the wiser. He had been asleep on the top bunk of the bed he shared with his older brother, Mark.

Mark awoke him with a gentle push.

"Wake up," he told him. "Some people are coming and you need to wake up."

Kevin hopped down from the top bunk, peeling back the curtain of a nearby window and looked out to see two trucks turning into the driveway.

He stopped and watched right before the trucks stopped in front of the building. Then they got down on the ground.

"Within a few seconds, we could hear David at the front door yelling out that there are women and children inside," recounted Kevin.

"He was telling them, 'tell them to call it off' and then gunfire started erupting from everywhere all at once.

"It sounded like machine guns, there were so many guns all firing at the same time. We couldn't tell what direction it was coming from because it was just all around us."

As Kevin and his brother lay on the floor - with powdered concrete filling the air as bullets penetrated the walls of the compound seemingly from all directions - they heard a scream from a voice they knew.

It was their grandfather, Perry, who was crying out that he'd been shot.

"He started screaming and then he asked David [Koresh] to kill him or for someone else to shoot him because he didn't want to go out and die with the bad people, or something like that," said Kevin.

"I think he said he didn't want to be 'taken out outside to die with the Babylonians.'"

A FAMILY LOSS

For three agonizing hours, the firefight would continue.

Kevin and Mark were paralyzed on the ground under a blanket, unsure of what was happening and why.

"We snatched the blanket off of one of the beds and put it over us because the sheetrock was turning into powder in the air as the bullets came through the walls," said Kevin.

"I remember someone speaking on a phone down the hallway, telling someone the building was surrounded by a bunch of people and that they were trying to kill us.

"I don't remember being afraid or crying, but I was confused. Why were these people shooting through my room? Especially when they didn't know who was on the other side of the wall.

"We just sat there clueless, basically."

A handful of other Branch Davidians would suffer the same fate as their grandfather during the skirmish.

Perry Jones eventually suffered a gunshot wound to his head. It's unclear if he or someone else administered the fatal blow.

Koresh was also hit by agents in the stomach and hand but his injuries were not fatal.

The ATF eventually arranged a ceasefire after they started running low on ammunition.

Koresh's clan had enough firepower to continue for days on end yet - but thankfully they embraced the detente.

FATEFUL ESCAPE

For the next few days, Kevin and his brother resumed their life as normal, unaware of the ongoing standoff between Koresh and the feds which by this time was unfolding on television screens around the world.

Save for the absence of their grandfather, and the fact they were told not to go outside or look out the window, the boys continued as they had been, playing with toys, running through the halls, and raiding the refrigerator after dark.

The only strange thing Kevin can remember of that time was sitting in the gun vault with a Davidian called Kathy Schroeder, helping her to load ammunition into magazine clips.

"We were just waiting for the adults to figure out what was going to happen. We just tuned everything else out," said Kevin.

"I don't remember anybody telling us what was going to happen. I just remember at one point we were all getting ready to come out, and then at the last minute David changed his mind and none of us did."

Four days into the siege, Mark was released by Koresh during a negotiation with the FBI.

Kevin spent the next 24 hours miserable and pining for his best friend before he was asked by one of his aunts if he wanted to leave too.

It sounded like machine guns, there were so many guns all firing at the same time. We couldn't tell what direction it was coming from because it was just all around us.

He confirmed that he did, because he wanted to be with his sibling, and before he knew it he was packing up a bag of his belongings, which included a new pair of jeans and a teddy bear he'd taken from his late grandfather's office.

As he was led towards the exit of the compound he encountered a wounded Koresh laying in the middle of a hallway.

Koresh spoke to him briefly and asked him to climb over him to go and see his father.

He brushed Koresh's stomach wound twice as he attempted to hurdle him, causing the sect leader to wince in pain.

"I finally got around him and gave my dad a big hug," he said.

"He told me to go out there and be good and that he'd see me soon.

"That was the last time I saw him."

'MT. CARMEL IS BURNING'

Kevin was patted down by FBI agents and escorted to a nearby airplane hangar where authorities had set up a makeshift camp for Davidian evacuees.

He had no access to a television, radio, or any other kind of media and spoke only once with his family still inside the camp with the help of an FBI negotiator.

Eventually, he was placed in a children's home with other fellow escapees. His little sister Heather soon joined him at the home.

One morning a few of the children had been sitting in the living room when one of them switched on the TV out of sight from the supervising social workers.

The news came on the screen and images of Mt. Carmel almost entirely engulfed by flame were bring broadcast before their eyes.

The children around him screamed and cried but Kevin sat there still, petrified in confusion.

"I saw the building burning on TV but I didn't know what happened or if people were still in there," he said.

"We just saw it burning and the parents ran in and shut off the TV and that's pretty much the only bit of information we got for the next several weeks."

TRAGIC CULMINATION

Seventy-eight people would die in the blaze - 24 of whom were British - bringing a violent and tragic end to the 51-day siege.

Hours earlier, at around 6am, the FBI started ramming tanks into the side of the compound's walls and dispensed 400 football-sized canisters of CS gas through the holes they'd created over a period of several hours.

Soon after the attack ended, at sometime around noon, several fires simultaneously broke out around Mt. Carmel and gunfire was heard thundering out inside.

Among the 76 dead, some of them - including Koresh - had suffered fatal gunshot wounds suggesting suicide or murder-suicide.

One three-year-old boy was stabbed in the chest and two other minors sustained fatal blows to their heads.

From day one, the government's handling of the Waco siege was heavily criticized.

Its fiery and deadly culmination was unintentional, said then-Attorney General Janet Reno, who had green-lighted the tear gas attack.

"Today was not meant to be D-Day," she told reporters afterward.

"We were prepared to carry it out tomorrow and the next day and do everything we could to effect a peaceful resolution of this matter."

'STRAIGHT UP MURDER'

Despite the Waco tragedy's infamy, authorities and survivors remain torn over key details during the siege, including which side fired the first shot, and how the deadly fire was struck.

In 1999, the FBI acknowledged that its tear gas canisters could be flammable under certain conditions but said they were deployed long before the fire broke out.

The agency sustained its belief that the Branch Davidians intentionally torched the buildings in an act of mass suicide to fulfill Koresh's apocalyptic prophesies.

Survivors of the group have long denied that was the case.

For Kevin, he said he can never be certain of what is true and what is not.

What he does believe, however, is that the entire siege could've been avoided had authorities just arrested Koresh during one of his frequent visits to the local town, or during one of his morning jogs on the outskirts of the compound's grounds.

"It could’ve totally been avoided," a tearful Kevin insisted.

"Why didn’t they just arrest him? They should’ve arrested him and then gone to the property to look at the guns.

"Everything would’ve been handled smoothly because David wouldn’t have been there to order anyone to go and get guns or whatever.

"And then who drives a tank into a building, through a wall when there are 80-100 people inside and you don’t know where they are?

"I’m sure some of those people died getting crushed by a tank or falling debris.

"I mean," he cried, "that’s just straight-up murder."

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