Sweet and Sour

May 2002
By a Sterling Weekend graduate

I am a former graduate of the Sterling "Weekend" and I also did their seven-week point program.

Some of his teachings are good and some are bad.

A good teaching is the six tasks he has men do. Men may not be good in relationships, but we are good when someone give us a task. This is a concept about how to survive a relationship with your woman.

Another good thing I got out of my weekend, was that my father and I later grew closer and now have established an awesome relationship. But I couldn't convince my Dad to do it. He was put off by how much money Justin was pulling in. He said that Sterling was a very lucrative business.

Enrolling people into the Sterling Weekend is a high-pressure process. We had open houses to enroll new men. I even tried to get my girlfriend's son to do the weekend. He was willing to go until one of the other men attacked him, it turned into a fist fight.

Justin tells the men not to trust their wives or girlfriends, which is bad because this often results in dishonesty within a relationship. The woman is somehow the enemy and if you live with her, you are in "Alien Hostile Territory." And if you reveal a problem or share your feelings, she will supposedly use it against you.

I was really amazed how Justin Sterling's followers seem to revere him like a God.

I was involved with Sterling for almost 16 months and this took a lot of time away from my long-term girlfriend and soon to be wife. The secrecy was just too much for our relationship and it was splitting us apart.

Justin says the woman is the manager of the relationship. But how can she manage the relationship if you spend so much time with the men in Sterling? So for me, to be with the woman I love, I decided to quit Sterling.

My team would not support this or my love for my girlfriend. Instead, they said I was becoming "feminized," and that I should not reveal my true emotions to her. They also said that I use her for financial support. That's bullshit! She and I simply have a financial agreement between us, to split the bills and the rent. And she includes me under her medical coverage.

The Sterling men told me that if I was a man, I would provide for my own medical insurance. But my employer is a small two-man business that cannot support such a plan.

I tried to tell my team that my girlfriend wanted an intimate close relationship. But again, they said that this would only result in me becoming "too feminized." They claimed the relationship should be on my terms, told me not to give in to her and that she should submit to me.

My girlfriend is a strong woman. There may be some truth in their comments. But I would not buy it completely. Finally, when the other men at Sterling tried to break us up, I told them no thanks. I emailed them my final decision, rather than meet with them in person. I didn't want them to gang up on me and make me feel worse.

There is a lot of control in Sterling, and if you are not "supportable," you cannot be a part of the group. I made my decision.

The bottom line is this. I was not going to be controlled by them. And I love my girlfriend too much to let any organization tell me what to do in my relationship.