Sterling Visitor Comments

"There is a growing Men's group {Men’s Sterling} that presently has over 200 men in Toronto and aggressively growing. The activities and preaching still goes on today as it is described in your website. I personally attend the Nov 2013 event and the EXACT same things are happening and still being taught even today. Sleep deprivation, one bathroom for 200 men, boarded up windows, extreme cold rooms, no breaks with sessions that go from 9am to 1am without a break outside of lunch and supper. Etc…plus the leader Justin Sterling talks down and insults his volunteers and bullies all the men to bully each other for all men to preform and tribal ritual all naked. I even joined the men's group looking for a support group and most of the focus is involving more men to do the weekend. [February 2014]"

"I just wanted to say a huge THANK-YOU for presenting information on the internet about the Sterling Institute. I was approached Sunday by a friend to attend an open house last night. The women at the meeting were very kind and did not pressure me into anything. I returned home and promptly googled Justin Sterling and began reading the testimonies of former members. This is most definitely a cult and I, for one, am not the slightest bit interested in paying $$$ to be brainwashed, indoctrinated and humiliated. I believe the cult preys on unhappy, vulnerable individuals who are lonely. To believe that all men are jerks and all women bitches is insane! For women to take 100% responsibility for a relationship and be subservient to their spouse/boyfriend is laughable, at best. Again, thank-you for exposing this Justin character for the man he is...a dangerous egomaniac."

"One thing that Sterling alumni don't mention is that after you do the weekend almost every activity is designed to sign up new men and women for the weekend. Picnics, dinner parties, dances, barn raising events, all are centered around bringing in new acolytes for Justin. I did the weekend back in the mid 90's. I joined 'the division.'. I was constantly pressured to recruit men. These brainwashed minions even recruited newly clean and sober men and women from 12-step programs. These newly clean and sober men and women were 'lost' and looking for direction and should have gotten 12-step sponsors for their addictions. Instead, they were told that they the weekend would be far better therapy than 12-step programs. I witnessed Sterling members actually telling these people that they didn't need the 12-step programs. The lengths these people will go to line Justin's pockets are shameless."

"I attended a 'weekend' November 2008 for $600. It was a big mistake!...You have to sit for hours in silence and wait first. Just a mind game. And people were forced to pee in the corner! Seriously, they put plastic on the walls in the corner and set up buckets! Justin is an idiot...He didn't say anything that I didn't already know...There were a lot of people there who felt just like me. We were all having a horrible time. I did the first day and that was it for me."

"I attended the Sterling Men's weekend in 1995. I was involved with the Men's Division for about 6 months. I quit after I realized that the other men that I had gotten to know tried to convince me that I was going to fail. After I left I was shunned by all but one of them. I have encountered a few of the others in the last couple of years, with the exception of the one man, I was not impressed by any of them. Several of them have joined other Men's Divisions. I did speak to one man who told me about Mr. Sterling and his past and I wasn't at all surprised. In perspective I really didn't get anything out of the Men's Weekend except a bad case of laryngitis and a serious case of B.O. Mr. Sterling made all of us take 5-minute cold showers without soap. Three of those men that were on my Men's Team are now divorced, two of them I have know idea of where they are and the last is deceased. The man who died was the man that I did stay in touch with. The man who sponsored me is also deceased, he became homeless after he quit the Men's Division and died from exposure to the elements. His boss was his Men's Team captain. I now realize that I should have commented on the bad experiences that I encountered with the Sterling weekend. Mr.Sterling is a manipulative thief and a liar. He should reimburse all the thousands of people that he ripped off. I wonder how much that amount would total?"

"I came across your website last week. My husband has been involved with the Justin Sterling's Men's group and has drastically changed since. I currently have an order of protection due to him acting out physically at me. He has become more angry and less tolerant of me and my children since he became a part of Sterling. Is there anything that can be done to stop this group from enrolling more people to its mind control tactics? I am saddened by the fact that I have lost a husband and my children have lost a father to this group and would like to help prevent any additional suffering on the part of other spouses...It's frightening to know that this group exists at all."

"My husband went on his men's weekend back in 1994, and I have seen a definite change for the worse in our marriage the more involved he gets. We have two children, ages 6 and 8, and they don't understand why Daddy is gone twice a week and has to be on private phone calls for 3 to 4 hours. Everything in our lives is controlled by his mandatory meetings. If a birthday or holiday falls on a meeting date, too bad. And while he claims his Christian faith is very important to him, it also takes a back seat to his meetings, phone calls, "team aways," Justin events, etc. I find it interesting (and very sad) that the very organization that claims to work toward saving families and children is actually very distructive toward them. Team meetings, phone calls, 'Justin events,' 'Team Aways' and etc. take precedence over everything else in these men's lives.If you are a man considering the weekend and the Men's Division, run as fast as you can AWAY. Whoever recruited you is NOT a friend. Division members are forced to recruit anyone they can and are ridiculed if they don't. And if you are married to a man involved in the Men's Division, do not, I repeat, DO NOT allow him to take your children to any Sterling events. It is a very unhealthy atmosphere. So you probably wonder why I'm still married to this man. The honest truth is that I don't want to have my kids spending any time alone with him and his cronies. Sad, isn't it? While we are married I can refuse to allow him to take the children and he has to go alone. This is how strongly I feel about the evil that is Sterling. I can divorce him after the kids are grown (and hopefully safe from the Sterling environment).Oh,and I did do the Women's weekend shortly after my husband. What a crock! At least I was able to avoid being brainwashed and turned into a Stepford Wife. I'm sure my husband wishes I had been, but that's just too darn bad. At least one of us was smart enough to see through all the smoke, mirrors, and CRAP."

"One of my brothers has been involved with the insane world of Justin Sterling for some time. He has suffered from depression most of his life along with other problems. Justin Sterling seems to be his greatest hero. However, he told me how Justin yells at anyone for questioning him and belittles anyone for 'acting like a baby.' My brother's depression has been ignored the men who supposedly care for him in his group. He concentrates more on all of the other crap they teach rather than working on his own problems. I worry about my brother every day and it angers me how this group can so blindly ignore his depression, yet teach him 'to be a man.' They have also taken his money, time and life from those who love him."

"I went through the Sterling Weekend, but was lucky enough not to buy into the garbage that they deal out. For the past year I have been dating a wonderful woman who sadly is with the Sterling Family of Women. My relationship with her has gone downhill. She slowly changed from a loving and compassionate partner to a 'Sterling Stepford.' [Recently] we said goodbye. I miss her dearly and wish to God that Sterling never existed. This is a sick group of people led by a [man] that wants to line his pockets with your money in exchange for outdated thinking."

"I was involved for a year and a half with a man very deep into Sterling. Aside from being away much of the time on team meetings, the phone calls and weekends, he also volunteered for the AV team. When I asked about the principles of the Sterling Institute, he informed me that they were confidential. He constantly badgered me to attend the Women's Weekend, which I refused. After a year of being in what I thought was a serious committed loving relationship, my boyfriend began acting more and more strange, as if he wanted to sabotage our relationship. He told me that it was my job to run the relationship. When I voiced concern that a relationship consisted of two people and that both man and women had to contribute, be began spewing some of Justin Sterling nonsense. The final straw was when he failed to show up at my sisters wedding. He had gone fishing with some men in his group and assured me he would return in time for the wedding. Apparently the men in his group thought he was being 'pussy whipped' and convinced him to blow off the wedding. Finally his sponsor told him that he was not ready for a long term relationship. Rather than tell me this, he just acted like a jerk, forcing me to end the relationship. My advice to women and men is to steer clear of anyone involved in the Sterling Institute. By the way, in the years since my ex-boyfriend has been married and divorced twice."

"I went to the women's weekend and it was a horrible heavy schedule of brainwashing! All the messages of submission, and 'know your place,' 'you women with your petty careers,' etc. It was horrifying to watch many of my friends being sucked into the Weekend and its Family of Women. Some friends were incredible cheerleaders for the Sterling weekend and got a bunch of us to do it. It created huge problems in my marriage. I was shaking with anger going through that weekend and I still don't know why I didn't march out! Justin Sterling is so condescending and manipulative. He had hundreds of troubled, and weak women buying all his crap. I couldn't believe it!"

"No one seems to want to expose this jerk. I was a victim of his teachings and divorced my husband when he chose the 'team' instead of our marriage. It's a sick group of chauvinists and women haters. My husband had no emotions and said his first commitment was to them. He glowed after their meetings, spoke constantly with his team members, but treated me like a non-person. His Sterling buddies would laugh at me on the phone and tell my husband not to listen to me."

"I just did the weekend in October of this year. My best friend said this was something that would save my relationships. When I tried to ask questions about it, she replied, 'Trust me,' 'trust the process' and 'do you think that I would send you to do something that would hurt you?' So I believed and went. They kept the room freezing and no food or water except once a day at dinner. No bathroom breaks unless declared by the almighty asshole. When I fell asleep someone shoved or kicked me. Whoever believes this will help them is a sad and pitiful person. As for myself, I should have checked this out first before attending. I was absolutely amazed that so many people were paying this maniac for information, which was stupid,detrimental, ignorant, hypocritical and just plain disgusting."

"Justin Sterling is still going strong, and people are still falling prey to him. I attended the Women's Weekend. I did it for a man that now I now realize believes that all women want to do is control him. Whenever I suggested something, he would accuse me of trying to control him. The secrets and the constant phone calls to other Sterling men were just too much. It didn't matter how much I loved him, he would say there was no 'spiritual love' and that I didn't know how to manage the relationship. How can he let these men influence his life so much? You website is absolutely right on."

"I've learned a lot from your website about the Sterling Institute. My now ex-boyfriend is involved with the 'New Frontier,' which is the East Coast group of Sterling. I had a really bad experience. When I read the accounts of other women affected by Sterling, it was almost exactly like my own situation. It seemed wonderful at first, but then my boyfriend slowly started becoming controlling, possessive, etc. I asked about Sterling, but he never told me a thing about it. I would question him about the things that I read on your site and others, but he remained very secretive. I decided to end our relationship. The attitudes he had toward women proved your website correct."

"Why didn't I find out about you years ago. I had an experience with the Women's Sterling group. My so-called "big sister" recruited me at my lowest moment. My husband said he didn't want to be married to me anymore. And I was willing to do whatever it took for him to love me. I was convinced to let him be, what he wanted to be. In other words, to be shit on! He decided he wanted to have an affair and then I filed for divorce. He took everything he could, but the one thing he, my "big sister" and Sterling didn't get was my heart and soul. I thank God every day that I am away from everyone involved with that group. I learned so much from the experience and am happy now. It is amazing how they pounce on their prey and suck them in."

"I was asked to attend the Sterling men's weekend. The average Joe suffering from a relationship loss is a perfect target for sleep deprived coercion and peer pressure. These men are then turned into fanatics that I refer to as a white wing of Taliban extremists, which beats down women. Justin Sterling must be stopped."

"I came in contact with members of the Sterling Institute and although interested, was having very strong reservations about the program. It sounded so vague and no one would tell me what it was all about. They said it was 'a leap of faith' and would all be worth it. I saw some signs of control in the recruiting process and thought it was incredibly weird that an established group didn't have any publicity and just recruited through word of mouth. Thank you very much for sharing information."

"The Sterling Institute appears to now have more 'advanced' training. They sponsor 'The New Frontier,' which I discovered at http://www.neatcomm.org/NEAT/CommunityR.htm (now a dead link). They have workshops for children, which concerns me. I feel their philosophy is best left to the discerning adult. They say the 'purpose' of The New Frontier is to be a brother organization of Sterling's Men's Divisions International, which brings the 'spirit and high standards' engendered by the Sterling Men's Weekend to the world. The New Frontier provides team structure and training to graduates of the Men's Weekend who live in areas where there are no Men's Divisions."

"I wish I was able to access this information in the early '90s. I am just now getting over years of manipulation by the Sterling 'Family of Women.' Therapy has helped me see clearly. I never would have believed that I could be 'brain washed,' but I was and I helped do it to other unsuspecting women. I can only imagine how many lives have been harmed by Justin Sterling. If there is a hell, he will end up holding a 'Weekend' there."

"I went on the Sterling Weekend, but felt extremely disturbed when it was finished. I was 'triumphant,' but not for the reasons Sterling said. Instead I felt triumphant because I survived with my self intact. My girlfriend is involved with their 'Family of Women.' I am doing everything possible do to get her out. They also have the 'Young Women's Weekend' and the 'Young Men's Leadership Weekend.' I would not send my kids there."

"Thanks for your informative website. My boss went to one of these weekends and is now an avid participant in one of their 'men's groups.' My job has been a living hell ever since. I am a female and can definitely see things more clearly after learning more about this wacky group. He is nuts and I believe I will be searching for a new job!"

"I cannot thank you enough for your page on the Sterling Men's Weekend. I recently attended one of those Sterling Open Houses at the encouragement of a good friend. I'm no fool and I could see through Justin Sterling as a manipulative charlatan, but I trusted my friend's judgment. How my friend, an intelligent, well-educated man, could have been duped I will never know."

"Thank you for posting information about Justin sterling. I was asked to do the 'Weekend,' but I am not going to get caught up in it. They do prey on the weak. I have a friend in a recovery program and they tried to get him to do their Weekend too, but he did some research first--thank God."

"Wish I had investigated your Web site prior to accepting an invitation for the Men's Weekend. I left during the processing though."

"Thank you very much for the excellent service you provide to the public at large. I know for a fact that your site has been directly responsible for ensuring that numerous people have seen the other side of Sterling. People have consequently avoided being subjected to Sterling's abuse through physical intimidation, gross manipulation and psychological (archaic caveman) regression."

"My husband did the Men's Weekend and recruited me for the Women's Weekend. My life has been hell ever since. I joined the Family of Women, but quit because it was consuming all of my time. I was constantly pressured to recruit my friends and family into this organization, and when I resisted, they would tell me that I had 'trust issues' and 'low self-esteem.' I am filing for divorce from my husband because the Men's Weekend has taken over our lives. He is gone at least two nights a week at a secretive 'program' and the phone rings at all times of the day and night with calls from other men in his group. His group is his priority, and my children and I are no longer a priority. I find it ironic that a group, which claims to enhance relationships, is instead the reason behind the destruction of relationships. Thanks so much for your Web site. I only wish I had seen your site before the Weekend ruined my marriage."

"This is a dangerous and predatory group. Why is there so much secrecy attached to it? Truth doesn't have to hide behind anything. The people I met were really nice and I can deeply empathize with many. But this guy Justin is exploiting the suffering of people and profiting from it. I would advise getting out of this group. Run as fast you can and don't look back. Self improvement is a lifelong struggle. There is no way one weekend could possibly affect a person's life they way they claim it does. There is no 'secret' way to become enlightened and 'the man you always wanted to be.' This is a fantasy. You are the man you are--get to know that man."

"I attended a 'Sterling Men's weekend' a little over two years ago. Justin Sterling is a foul, crude purveyor of 'Sterling Speak,' which is tantamount to a loud mouth bully at school with a bunch of weak mindless followers seeking approval like little yes men. NO MAN WITH ANY AMOUNT OF INTEGRITY, DIGNITY, OR SELF WORTH would go near this guy let alone give him $600.00 plus supply a free food dish! I walked out after the first night and then verbally ripped apart my 'sponsor' friend who thought the Sterling Weekend was just what I needed. Justin Sterling is the scum of the earth or better put the 'scam' of the earth. Shop elsewhere men for something you don't need in the first place."

"I attended 'The Weekend' in 1997 at the urging of two friends. I was told nothing of the contents of the weekend. I went to an invitational sort of meeting prior to the weekend and was given the high pressure pitch from twelve men for about four hours. About four new people there agreed to give it a shot while two or three others declined. Only after we went through a ritualistic ceremony promising to attend were we told that it would cost $500! When I told my sponsor that I would have trouble paying that kind of money, which did not include, transportation, food or lodging, he got another member to hire a few of us recruits to paint his house to defray costs. In the month or so between that meeting and the actual weekend, there were lots of phone calls at bizarre hours, other preparatory meetings and generally odd very strict behavior from the men I dealt with. The whole secrecy thing was spooky to say the least. Thank God there are now websites like yours."

"I took the Sterling Women's Weekend and then became active in recruiting others. At first it seemed so innocent, with only minor annoyances, such as the constant phone contact and questions about why we weren't able to enroll more women quickly. Eventually I realized that the quality of relationships I was having with women was deteriorating. And that we were all being encouraged to ignore major problems in our relationships with men and to accept them as is. Fortunately, having a strong family foundation and good common sense told me it was time to depart. Sometimes I meet up with former 'adherents' and we laugh about our involvement. We are all educated and intelligent women and yet we were involved because of our fear of being without a man. These days we realize that one must be happy within oneself. I have no emotional scars as a result of my dealings with Sterling, but I do know of others who suffered tremendously. Justin Sterling took advantage of past trauma--such as incest, rape and divorce, to manipulate people. I always felt that he had cold unfeeling eyes.Your website is important and could possibly save lives by warning people. Keep up your good work."

"My husband of 24 years just attended a 'Men's Weekend' in Oakland, California. He too, didn't know what he what he was in for prior to attending. He was disgusted with the event. He's told me about all the degrading discussions regarding sex, women and what men want. Sterling is so full of crap! My husband described Sterling as a manipulating, heartless, sick and twisted individual who's in the business of preying on people's weaknesses. Wives should read all they can get about this horrible organization. It is absolutely unbelievably terrible!"

"I am getting a divorce. My husband joined Sterling [and] my life since has been hell. The phone calls, the meetings, everything your net site is warning people about. My husband does whatever Sterling tells him to do."

"Great site--keep it up. If I had bought a computer instead of doing the 'Men's Weekend' I would have been better off. I've read about the controversy in the 'Men's Division' and 'The Family of Women.' I've been involved with independent men's groups for six years. One man within such a group did 'The Weekend' and then like ducklings some of us followed behind him. We then moved on to the 'Men's Division' meetings at least one night a week. Once you have completed 'The Weekend' you have to keep getting other men to do it. I was told if I didn't want to get other men to do 'The Weekend'--then nobody was keeping me there. You do the weekend only to be trained to conjure up other poor, unsuspecting souls to spend their $600.00--so that they can be trained to conjure up poor, unsuspecting souls and so on and so on and so on [sic]. I do miss the men I did 'The Weekend' with. But I have not been contacted by anyone within the Sterling community for over a year."

"I am a former member of the 'Family of Women' and Sterling weekend. After four years I finally saw the light. It cost me my marriage [husband still in Sterling], my home and all my material things. But at least I walked out with my children, dignity and self worth."

"I just wanted to say thank you for your website. It has given me so much information. I recently broke my engagement to someone who is heavily involved in the Sterling Group. The closer we got to our wedding, the more time he spent with the group and the more controlling he got. My experience with him has been the strangest thing that has ever happened to me. Reading the articles posted on your website have helped me understand so many points of our relationship and make me so grateful that I didn't marry this man. No matter how I tried to discuss the problem this group was creating, the more angry he got with me. It's very disheartening to know that no matter how much you may love someone, if they are heavily involved with something like Sterling and believe the view that Sterling teaches these men about women, it is almost hopeless. Thank you again for all the information."

"Thank you for the postings on Sterling. A friend of mine joined the group and is now completely subservient to it. The changes that have occurred in him since joining are saddening. He was once a kind, giving individual and a solid friend who could turn the other cheek. Sterling "taught" him that he is weak--he taught my friend how to be an asshole. Now he is obsessed with money and multilevel marketing schemes, and is a total sexist. Sterling preys on men who lack a strong Father figure or who have had repeated failures in their relationships with women. My friend is both of those, and is now a team leader. [People] need to know about this insidious group, and the destructive element it represents in our society. Keep up the good work".

"Thank you Mr. Ross, your information prevented me from making a very bad mistake. You should continue to follow up on Justin Sterling's institute, it is a very deceitful organization."

"Your posts regarding the Sterling Institute have been very enlightening. I recently attended a "team meeting" with a friend who did the weekend about a year ago. While at the meeting I was pressured to answer about whether I wanted to do the weekend or not, and was forced to go on the very limited amount of information which I did have. After finding your information I am very glad that I did say that I was not interested in attending."

"I recently went on a [Sterling] 'Men's Weekend' and now I am trying to get my money back, but until then I have found lots of negative things on Justin Sterling on the web, but the best was on the newsgroup called 'alt.mindcontrol', and I will quote it here. It is the best answer you can give to the question: 'My friend is trying to get me to go an a Sterling Men's weekend--should I go, even though he won't tell me what goes on there?' Here is the answer: AN OPEN LETTER ABOUT STERLING "

"Thank you for making this information public. My husband has been involved with this organization for 2 years and he refuses to see that these Sterling men are controlling his life. I love my husband deeply but my life has become so unbearable, I am on the verge of leaving. Please please please don't stop warning people."

"Some of my friends might have saved themselves a bundle of money, several nights sleep, and a wicked brow-beating by a bunch of professionals if they had had a chance to check out your site beforehand. I appreciate your hard work in this field and your efforts to get the word out."

"I signed up for a [Sterling] weekend and bailed after about 12 hours. It was ridiculous and boring. I took my [required] dinner dish and went home and ate it. I wish I had seen your web page before I paid the $500."

"I was involved with Sterling's men's division for almost 2 years. I got to know many of the upper echelon people in the division. I got out and I am glad that I'm out. The funny thing is--many of these men knew I was going through tough times with my family and career. They said they were my friends--but none of them have ever contacted me since I left the division."

"Once again, I have given people a copy of the material that you have posted on your website on this group. I cannot thank you enough for making this information available and attainable. When people see the other side of this group and are able to get beyond the "mystery" of the weekend, they are shocked. Thank you for this very valuable public service."

"I had twenty-one years of marital bliss based on an equal relationship. [Justin] Sterling came across as an over-bearing, arrogant, egocentric ass and revulsion was as much behind my bailing out as anything else."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you for your website on the Sterling Institute. It may very well have saved my marriage. Keep up the good work."

"I was approached by a friend to join the Sterling's Men Weekend about a year ago and at the time I couldn't commit to the date it was scheduled. I was approached recently again and attended a meeting about the weekend and I was impressed with the testimonials, mostly due to my friend who I considered reliable. The information they gave me was sparse to say the least, but still I trusted my friend. I almost signed up until I decided to do a little research. Thank goodness I did! Your page has saved me $600. Thanks again! WHEW--close call"! --September 1998

"I just want to say 'Thank-you' for posting crucial information regarding the Sterling Institute of Relationship. I have been approached by an acquaintance to attend the Women's Weekend. Having 'trust' in this person I signed up and deposited the mandatory $100. But, my gut kept poking at me to know more than offered about the event. It just didn't feel right that it was all so secret. The more I read the more nervous I became about attending this event. Again, my gut says this definitely isn't for me. I will be notifying the appropriate person on my decision not to attend the weekend as planned. Thanks again for posting information that I could find. You've probably saved me from a potentially terrifying experience. Guess I've failed the Sterling 'trust' test, but I'm certainly glad I can choose to fail it now vs. in the midst of their so called program."

"I was involved for 4 years with this group--a number of my friends are still involved and I am often asked when I will be returning. It took me a great deal of therapy to unlearn a lot of this stuff and to regain my self-worth as a woman--[Sterling] taught to take whatever a man gives because that is how 'they are'.

I gave up a lot of my life, time, money and health (mental & physical) and was often to be ridiculed (as others were) for not doing it the way Justin would want. Some of the people are wonderful and others are lost in a haze of Sterlingville. They even have a Sterling lingo that one must learn to fit in. Families break up over this group, jobs are lost and marriages are formed--all in the name of Justin Sterling, Who is he anyway?!"

"Thanks for your Web page! I was invited to a Sterling Open Meeting last night and was 'asked' to a weekend. I was asked to write down three changes I wanted to make in my life. Well, these folks wanted to change my changes to their changes and kept saying: 'now, we don't want to put words in your mouth. This is what you really mean; isn't it'? Yea, sure it was. When they wanted me to fill out the contract and sign it I was a bit concerned, but then I realized that this was a 'cult' [sic] in action. I left the group, but before leaving I was TOLD: 'you wanted to do this. Why do you want to wait? We can only give you 48 hours to sign up'. I said I would let them know after I looked into the Sterling Institute Thank you for this Web page, the Sterling group is tarnished".

"I was supposed to attend a women's weekend in Buffalo the weekend of November 6th but after reading all the information you have provided, I've changed my mind. I just gave my credit card number to my 'Big Sister' today, but since I read your web site I have called my credit card company and told them not to put the charge through. Funny, that I hadn't heard from my Big Sister in months and now that the time is rolling around, she is calling me for the money. My gut feeling all along has been something was wrong. She would tell me I couldn't call the [Sterling] Institute in California for any information, but no one would really give me any information. I have just gone through a very ugly divorce (27 years married) (2 years going through hell to get the divorce finalized) so I was perfect 'prey' for this group. Thank goodness I happened on your web site. Thank you, thank you, thank you".

"I just wanted to thank you for making all of this information [about Sterling Institute of Relationship] available. I was directed to your Web site and I am so very grateful I was. My boyfriend read your information as well and has decided it is not for him. My boyfriend said because of the information he found on the web. I can not begin to thank you enough. Thank you from the bottom of my heart".

"Your web site was introduced to me by a former member [of Sterling Institute of Relationship], with critical timing! Just one day before returning to a 'open house'. I knew I wanted to go, but did not have the words to express my reasons for going. The postings helped me to become incredibly articulate and prepared. Thank you for your informative web site I can't begin to tell you how much the content has helped me put things into perspective".

"Thank you so much! I sat here all night (literally) trying to find anything on the Sterling Institute on the WWW and was coming up with nothing. They sure don't want you to know anything or be able to make a informed decision! I then found your WWW page! Unfortunately this was after I had agreed last night to go on the weekend thing to spend $600. Talking with my wife after reading though your entire 'Sterling' library of references led us to the conclusion that we needed to cancel the credit card as soon as possible. I just finished doing that 30 minutes ago. Being able to talk with my wife is one of the most important things to me".

"It was 1992, when my best friend tried to get me to join the Sterling Men's Weekend--I went to the open house (in Toronto), and subsequently was heavily pressured to join. I'm a very strong person, and more than that, I'm a cheap bastard. I could not fathom getting $500 value out of a two day weekend in New York State--so I didn't join. He left the Sterling clan about a year later, and hooked up with Landmark. And, yes, he tried to get me to join that one as well. Being the cheap bastard that I am, I refused that one as well. I'm glad to say that he has left both of those organizations behind".

"I have just read through the articles on Sterling posted on your Web site. Thank you, I have been looking for stuff on Sterling for years, having taken the weekend in 1994 and subsequently joining the men's division for four months, whereupon I left. I couldn't stand it any more! A friend of mine recruited me, saying that 'it was the most powerful experience that he had ever had'. Yes, it was powerful. He felt that it would help me as I was going through a major depression, but it actually made it worse. I still can't believe that I went through that stuff. I think the articles and testimonials about the weekend and the crass recruitment techniques were largely accurate. It is unfortunate that Sterling is still plying his trade".

"Thank you very much for having this Web site. I honestly think it saved a lot of people [some] trouble and pain. A man who I respected and admired guided me to [Sterling]. I asked outright if this thing was anything like EST but was assured kind of nervously by my "sponsor" that it had nothing to do with EST and that it would make me a more responsible provider for my family. I am in recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction and knew that some of my fellow NA members were Sterlings so I kind of automatically thought it was a benign organization. A woman friend of mine casually told me that she had heard Sterling was a [controversial] organization. I got on the Internet and found you and BOY were my eyes opened.

I think people in AA and NA are attracted to this organization because its kind of billed as a secular 'Promise-Keepers', which will help make you responsible. And since addiction is all about control, I think subconsciously we are attracted to the idea of getting control of our relationships and our women. The ideas Sterling spouts are really just 1970's bar wisdom- my friend 'Fast Eddy' told me every one of the Sterlingisms when we were hanging out in those wild disco days of the 70s. I didn't even go to the Weekend and am going to try to get my money back".

"As I have recently been approached by a Sterling-ite, I was interested in finding out more information about this seminar weekend that was going to 'change my life completely'. I was thrilled to run across your page".

"I am a graduate of Sterling's weekend and teams and am happily long since out of it. Your information was very interesting and brought back many memories--good and bad of my Sterling experience. It also enabled my wife to learn that she was not alone in finding the Sterling methodology very hurtful to our relationship. She was glad to see others felt and feel the way she did and does".

"I quit when Sterling began to take over my life--demanding far too much time. And I found it was no longer helpful. Several men in your page mentioned that after they quit, the men in their teams never called or continued their friendship. I found that to be true with me also, and was rebuffed when I tried to continue with several of them. I am happily re-married and life is good without Sterling"!

"I found your web page after much searching and I appreciate everything that you and all the others have [posted] about this group. I like many others am wary of any large-scale group (like Sterling or Landmark) that purport to teach about relationships. I am a firm believer in learning from those that have had proper training--such as a family therapist, marriage counselor, psychologist and the like. I am an anthropology graduate--so, I am curious about any group that suggests men return to their primal roots. Actually I think it is bullshit, since the roots that Sterling teaches is no longer the belief in the field of early-human history".

"I just attended a Sterling Weekend for Women and it was the very worst weekend of my life. The man is crazy and I WANT MY MONEY BACK. Thanks for the information on your page. Sure wish I could have found it before I attended this waste of time". --Canada

"Thank you for your Web site and information about Justin Sterling and the Sterling Institute of Relationship. I am scheduled to attend 'The Weekend' this coming weekend, but, thanks to your information, I am going to see what I can do about getting my money refunded. It will be interesting to see the response I get when I try to 'break this contract' and 'demonstrate how I act in relationships' in this way! I have attended 'The Forum' and other such seminars, and I was assured that 'this was different'. I appreciate the information you have posted because it helped me see that it is no different, and is NOT what I want or need right now. Thanks again for your information. It not only saved me money, but perhaps my sanity and integrity"!

"I would like to thank-you for your information on Sterling. It has saved me from continuing on with a potentially destructive relationship. I have been seeing a guy who belongs to this club. When he first told me about it I was a bit skeptical--since he couldn't tell me what went on in the meetings. Although he tells me it's not a cult, I know he is brainwashed. When we first starting going out he was a perfect gentleman, nice, caring, & considerate. He comes from a good family, good friends, and good job. I would have never thought he could hit me, but he did once and that was enough. He would change his behavior from cold to warm. Boy, am I ever glad to have seen your Web site on Sterling. I can now understand and see why he behaves the way he does."

"I just wanted to express my thankfulness that your site exists. My friend did the Sterling Men's weekend a couple of months ago. He got me to come to an Open House, and it seemed potentially useful; I said that, if it weren't for the money, I'd say 'Fuck it!' and do it. The next day, of course, he said he would help me 'get around' the money issue, and he told me how important it was that I do the weekend. After getting home that night, I searched the web for more information and found your website. Suffice to say that the numerous accounts, testimonials and background information was a complete eye-opener. I've told a lot of our mutual friends what I've learned, and invited them to visit your site. They have all responded positively to your site and the information and outlook it provides."

"Thank you for your site, which a friend pointed me to this morning after I talked about quitting the Sterling Weekend early on Sunday evening. It was really of value to me in confirming my gut instinct and not submitting myself to Sterling's mysterious initiation. I knew that I could not go through that without taking on some of Sterling's view about the 'truth' on relationships. Update: garbage can are still used for peeing. Meals were not analyzed. One quote, which I didn't see on your site, was something along the lines of 'women's primary directive of relationship is the opposite of men's primary need for success. To the extent that a man participates in relationship he will lose his drive to kill.' --Thanks again."

"I just completed the September 1999 Women's Weekend in Oakland. Had I checked the Internet before going I never would have attended!"

"I reside in Canada and have a very close friend who is heavily involved in the Sterling group. I consider myself a very strong minded and stubborn person. I was fortunate enough to have the guts to say no to one of my life long friends regarding 'doing the weekend.' He aggressively convinced two of our mutual friends to do the 'weekend,' but these friends refused to join a men's group later. My Sterling friend spews all the HONOR and 'trust the men' bullshit, but turns out to be the most unreliable and unfriendly person to people not in Sterling. I have known this person a very long time and I am saddened at how this group has turned him and other members that I have met into very selfish and arrogant people. I miss the company of my good friend. I hear he fell in love with a woman and they now have a child together. I hope the 'TEAM' approves of this-- in case he has to miss a meeting because his baby is sick or needs a diaper changed. To any others out there who hear from a FRIEND who wants to do the weekend and join a TEAM--be prepared to not hear from your friend much anymore."

"Thanks for your great site. A friend of mine just went through the Sterling Weekend and was trying to get me to go to the next one. Thanks to your site, I will not be going--I just hope that he looks at this information too."

"When I brought up my suspicions about Sterling and mentioned your name my friend [who is involved in Sterling] said he had heard about you. You must be making a huge impact on these cults, if Sterling is actually mentioning you in their program. I admire your work and find it terrifying--keep it up."

"A couple of months ago, the man that I am involved with, went to a meeting and Justin was there. The men were told to do what Justin says to do in their lives--to recruit for Sterling. If you are a man, you are supposed to step up to the 'line' and recruit, recruit, recruit. The guy who I am involved with is waiting for me to do the 'Women's Weekend.' I have no interest and do not want to waste $600. How can a man commit to stepping up to the 'line'--putting everything else in life on hold and expect to still have a family? Justin Sterling is doing a GREAT job of brainwashing and making himself a millionaire with his group."

"I'm finding some terrific reads on your site, particularly those that are related to 'A. Justin Sterling'. What a scam!"

"I have read your web site and am truly grateful. When my husband (now ex) joined this group we were having problems in our marriage. I feel his joining this group hastened the break-up of our marriage. First there was the weekend (totally secretive) and then he joined a 'team.' Membership on the 'team' took precedence over children's and family needs. I feel my ex was vulnerable to brainwashing and this is precisely what happened. [Now] I find it really that my ex who is not trained as a counselor, therapist or psychologist etc. is giving advice [through Sterling] to troubled people! Thank you so very, very much for your web page!"

"I just wanted to say 'job well done.' My husband attended one of Sterling's weekends a number of years ago. I was immediately suspicious--it all spelled out 'CULT.' I was able to persuade him to leave and after a very long time he shared his experiences there with me. I am glad to see that people are getting a hold of facts through your web site and that Sterling is being exposed for what he really is--something evil."

"I just wanted to say thank you for this site. A friend of mine is involved in the Sterling men's group and although he has not ever tried to recruit me, a mutual friend called me for other reasons and I asked him about it--he would not tell me much, but invited me to a meeting and would not tell me anything about the 'weekend.' I know that my first friend is going through a nasty divorce. After finding your site I understand how he could be caught up in this. Again thank you for the site, I think you are doing a great service. Now I won't waste my time even going to that meeting."

"I found your web site very helpful and informative. I recently was approached at work about the Sterling Institute Men^Òs Weekend. The person who told me about made it sound very appealing. That night I looked up their web site and only found one page listing the cost and dates of events. After expanding my search I found your site and it saved me $600 and a lot of headaches."

"Thank you so much for your web page. Last year I almost got involved with the Sterling Institute of Relationship--they preyed on me at a 12 step meeting I attended. But because of the information available through your site I got away. It took a battle and a lot of threats to get my money back, but I did."

"I did the 'Men's Weekend' in November 1995 and have come to question the validity of Justin's information. People were telling me that because I questioned his authority it was 'fuck you' to my dad and it manifested in being closedminded--when it came to listening other men. This all helped me to learn many things about myself and others. First, just because someone can argue better than you does not make you wrong--just less prepared. Second, don't trust somebody that asks the question and then gives you the answer."

"I just wanted to say Thank You. You don't know me, and I had never heard of you before tonight, but you helped me not go through what sounds like, a pretty pathetic 'Weekend.' My skepticism was high and that is why I went looking for information. Thanks for keeping information like this available!"