Plymouth Brethren: Woman who grew up in church ‘cult’ says she was sexually abused and had no access to technology

A woman born into a church she describes as a “cult”, where she claims she was sexually abused and grew up not being allowed to wear makeup, cut her hair or use technology, is now not of any faith and lives “a fulfilled life” despite her PTSD and anxiety from the experience.

Sarah Rowlands, 48, a sales manager, who lives in Wiltshire, was born into the Plymouth Brethren Christian Church, a subset of the Christian evangelical movement, which is commonly referred to as a “cult” by ex-members – although the group denies being a cult, and instead refers to itself as a “mainstream Christian Church”.

The mum of two boys aged 19 and 15, who she would prefer not to name, claims she did not have a childhood due to the many restrictions placed on her by the church, which included not being allowed to attend any events outside the church, school assemblies or sex education classes, use GCSE textbooks not approved by the church or go to university.

Sarah said she was sexually abused by a member of the church when she was 15 – but at the time she did not realise it was abuse as she would “do anything to please”.

Three years later, at age 18, she began working for her dad’s business and at age 20 began flirting with a contact over the phone – and two years later the pair met in secret and got engaged. When she told her family, she claims she was excommunicated but the church has denied that it excommunicates its members.

Sarah and her fiance got married in 1999 and had two children together but divorced in 2011, and she has since been diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety.

Sarah told PA Real Life, “Time helps you deal with things – when I first left, I would spend every single evening just crying and crying and crying because I was so used to being at church and seeing family and friends, and then all of a sudden not doing that, the life I knew had gone.”

Sarah was born into the Plymouth Brethren Christian Church, which she and many other ex-members refer to as a “cult”.

Growing up, Sarah said she had to go to church every day and was not allowed access to technology, not allowed to celebrate any occasions, or socialise or eat with anyone who was not in the church.

Women in the church were told to “remain silent” and were not allowed to cut their hair, put on makeup, wear trousers or go to university – they were expected to get married and become a housewife, she claims – though the church has denied imposing such regulations.

As she started going to school, she claims she began to realise how different her life was to that of her peers.

She said: “Attending school was a very difficult experience with no focus or desire to learn.

“I knew by the age of five that something wasn’t right because I was invited to a birthday party and wasn’t allowed to go.

“I had to tell them that I couldn’t go because I love Jesus – life was difficult, I didn’t have a childhood.”

As she got older, she said she was not allowed to attend any sex education classes or even school assemblies, and all GCSE textbooks had to be pre-approved by the church.

Sarah was taught by the church that sex and cohabiting before marriage was “sinful”, and if she was interested in someone romantically, both families would have to meet and she would not be allowed to see them on her own.

At age 15, Sarah said she was sexually abused by a member of the church.

“I was psychologically tortured – I was told that if you deal with anything wrong, you’re going to physically burn in hell,” she said.

“That was a massive thing… because you’re so fearful of doing anything wrong, as a child, you’ll do anything to please… at the time I didn’t realise it was sexual abuse.”

At age 18, she started working for her dad’s business and by age 22 she was the purchasing manager – and her role involved having regular contact with other businesses.

She instantly thought one contact had a “sexy voice” and the pair began flirting over the phone, and continued doing so for two years until they decided to meet up in secret.

She said: “Whilst I was at work, I met him in a multi-storey car park on my lunch, so I wouldn’t get caught.

“I sent him a letter with a map of where to meet me and all that sort of thing… because if other church members saw me, the consequences were dire.

“I met him, I took a Bible to give to him, and he asked me there and then to marry him (to) which I said yes.”

After she told her family, she said she was excommunicated but the church has denied that it excommunicates its members.

She then decided to move in with her fiance and his mother some weeks later, and had to adjust to a life with technology and fewer rules.

“I remember discovering Coronation Street and EastEnders,” she explained.

“I couldn’t get my head around it – I thought it was all real to begin with.

“I was obsessed with it… and I remember being allowed to listen to a CD for the first time – it was amazing.

“I decided to attend a computer course to learn how to use Microsoft Word to be able to get a job, I didn’t even know how to turn a computer on.”

The pair got married in 1999, having two sons together, but divorced in 2011.

Since leaving the church, Sarah is not religious but has never told her sons not to believe in God, as she believes they should have choice.

She has also gone on to find a new partner, John, 66, and feels “very lucky” to have “such a supportive and loving partner” but has had no contact with her immediate family since leaving the church. She said her family did not invite her to her father’s funeral which was “incredibly painful” at the time.

In 2018, she went to the police and reported her alleged sexual abuse to get closure and in hope of protecting other church members.

Unfortunately, police told Sarah because the alleged crime happened in 1992, it was too long ago to take it any further – but they spoke to the member of the church in question and logged it on their files.

Although moving on with her life, Sarah has since been diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety, caused she says as a result of her childhood.

She said: “My past has resulted in the mental health issues that I’ve got and some days it’s a massive fight for me to be able to get up and go to work.”

A spokesperson for the Plymouth Brethren Christian Church said: “Mrs Rowlands left our Church many years ago and we wish her well. However, her description of life as a member of our Church is in no way reflective of our beliefs, practices or the common experiences of our members.

“The happiness and sense of joy is exemplified by our members who are significant contributors to the local communities in which they live, work and worship.

“Many thousand professional teachers and members of staff are employed in our schools and business enterprises throughout the UK where harmonious living and working is experienced. Many also volunteer in community and outreach projects supporting local needs and international crises, including the ongoing conflict in Ukraine and the recent earthquake in Turkey.

“In line with our Christian beliefs, we treat the safety and wellbeing of our members with the utmost importance and have safeguarding policies and practices in place to keep our community safe.

“Any form of abuse is abhorrent and we strongly encourage anyone who has been a victim of abuse to contact the police. Ms Rowlands did raise her concerns with the police and these claims were investigated.

“People leave churches and choose a different path and this is not unique to our Church. As with other faiths, it is up to individual families as to how they manage and respond to these situations. The Church has not and will never stand in the way of families communicating with each other. At the end of the day, we are Christian, and we always seek to act with kindness and compassion.”