What is it like for a family?

December 2000
Written by a former member of over 17 years

What is it like for a family?

Families in the assembly have a very difficult time unless they are completely "sold out". First of all, it is extremely rare for a family to come into fellowship. Most of the families are formed when single members marry and have children. If the reader will refer to the typical week's schedule above and imagine doing that with several children, they will get a good idea of what life is like for families. There is no such thing as a nursery, or children's church. In fact, these ideas have been denounced for years. Many times it has been said that families who are serious about serving the Lord figure out ways to get everything done in order to make it to the meetings on time. Some have this talent, some don't. Some of the leaders have plenty of help from the members who live in their homes, so they are able to get there on time. Those families that live on their own have quite a time getting everything in order to get out the door without being late. As a result, children are not able to play sports or do much extracurricular activity, because it interferes with the meeting schedule.

Children must be trained to stay quiet for up to 3 hours, sitting on mats at Sunday morning meetings. This is quite a job and requires techniques called mat training and no-fussing. Using negative reinforcement training at the beginning, children as young as 6 weeks old are taught to immediately stop crying when a hand is placed over their mouth. They are also taught to put their heads down on mats and remain still. Some parents have great success with this, others have trouble, but in the main the children in the group have what outsiders consider amazing abilities. We would swell with pride every time someone would compliment us on how well behaved our children were. The trouble comes when they outgrow this control-oriented parenting. Around half of the teenagers have rebelled and left the group, mostly given over to blatant sin.

Meetings are definitely not fun. They are a lot of work for a family. A few families consider it all worth it. Others are very tired and have no joy but carry on with heavy hearts because of a sense of loyalty or fear. Many have discovered that there is indeed a way out. Sickness is the magic key that releases the bonds, making it possible for a member to miss a meeting. Mothers with many young children are often relieved when one of them is sick, because they get the night off! As a result, no cross section of the population is as sick, per capita, as the members of George Geftakys' ministry. The only trouble with sickness is that people will begin to view you with suspicion if you say you are sick but are really at the park or beach.