"Babywise"--Some readers comment at amazon.com

Amazon.com, August 1999

Why Have Kids?

August 17, 1999
By a reader from Princeton, NJ

Why have kids if it is to treat them the way Ezzo suggests? His tips are DANGEROUS...with no love, no compassion. Babies are helpless, loving creatures...how dare Ezzo write such a book! I am not surprised that people who buy his book also buy Ferber...Raising a child is not about "training" them and making them fit into your life...It is about loving them and attending to their needs. Buy and read Dr. Sears, and love your children...they will love you back.

"Author is self-proclaimed Pastor… NO FORMAL TRAINING "

August 17, 1999
By a Christian Parent

The American Academy of Pediatrics has declared this book dangerous.

FYI... The author is neither ordained nor formally trained in theology or medical areas. He is entirely self proclaimed. His own church has severed all relations with him due to his "ideas" about child rearing.

His ideas are NOT based in religion or medical data, but in convenience. If you are not ready for a baby, get a goldfish instead.

VERY DANGEROUSE FANATICAL BOOK!

"Try using this on grandpa--the cops will arrest you"

August 16, 1999
From California

Ezzo is being sued. why? sick and dead babies... sounds perfect, a sick or dead baby wont wake you in the night, wont go on with that bothersome crying, hmmm I guess Ezzo sounds pretty good, huh? Try using this "Babywise" advice on disabled grandpa and you'll have the cops at your door. Amazon, please, allow us to have a zero star rating. Please.

"Please think before you buy this book!"

August 6, 1999
From Northern California

I read both Babywise books while I was pregnant with my second child and my first was in the "terrible twos" at the strong recommendations of some acquaintance/friends. Overall, I was frankly horrified by what I read.

These books should be titled "Parent Convenience Training." Ezzo's philosophy is completely disrespectful to children and excludes empathy.

What I found disturbing was how the book was so rigid and scary, but used terms like "the flexible schedule"(like "if you don't feed your child on a set schedule and let them cry it out your child will be selfish and immoral, but do be flexible!").

Both my sister-in-laws are using these programs ("but ignoring a lot of the harsh stuff" according to them) and while their babies who are one and 3 months, have adapted to the rigid schedules and almost never cry, I can't help but wonder how these children will grow up after receiving the message that, basically, "I will only love you if you fit into my life and follow my schedule." (I believe their babies rarely cry because they've cried it out so often, they figure -- what's the point?).

My one brother and his wife who have the one year old are both executives and have a nanny for their child who also meticulously follows Babywise at their direction. Since he was new, the baby often has gone days without seeing either parent or rarely seeing them, since his schedule dictates that he get up at 7:30 and go to bed at 7:30 and since one of them is usually traveling or putting in extra hours in the morning and/or evening. Babywise has made their lives very easy and they are actually now planning their next baby. But I wonder at what price have their lives been made so easy by Babywise?

As a working Mom of two, it would have frankly been nice to buy into the Babywise message that "as long as they are clean and fed, there is no reason to not let them cry." But my instinct told me this was horribly wrong and I dragged myself into the office after many a wakeful night holding and comforting my baby during the night.

Today my children, 2 and 5, are thoughtful, empathetic, intelligent, energetic, and altogether wonderful! They speak their mind, but are respectful of their father and me. They tell me if they are feeling sad, or joyful or silly. They tell me how they feel because they know I will listen with empathy and be there for them. They know my heart is completely open to them and if they need I am there, regardless of any schedule.

Please think about the kind of child you want to have -- an obedient, God-fearing, child who is motivated by a fear of abandonment, or a child that is emotionally healthy, fully formed and trusts you with their innermost thoughts and feelings.

"Babies have died because of this book"

August 2, 1999
From Arizona

Zero stars. The author has had to revise new editions of this book because of lawsuits that resulted from the deaths of children.

It's so sad that people want an easy baby. Failure to thrive babies are easy babies. They make no demands because they've learned that communication, i.e. crying, is useless. They accept any caregiver because they have no attachment to any one person. I hope that when Ezzo gets old and can't tend to his own needs someone treats him the way he says babies, babies who are totally helpless, should be treated.

This book is a blueprint for parents who are control freaks -- not to mention self-centered and insensitive -- and have no respect for their children as individuals.

If you weren't prepared to deal with your child's demands and to alter your lifestyle to include them then why did you bother having them in the first place?

According to Ezzo my 10 1/2 month old baby should be a total brat--we sleep together, feed on demand, never let her cry, hold her lots, and yes, I've put many of my activities and interests on hold. Instead she is a wonderful child, who started saying "mama and dada" before she was eight months old and is by all accounts on the high end of the IQ scale. We take her everywhere with us, including movies during which she watches, nurses and sleeps without so much as a peep.

The time we invest in her now will pay off in the future. That is the attitude parents should have, not "I can't let this child run my life" or "She has to learn who's the boss."

Remember this, if you're in an adversarial relationship with your child, when you win your child loses.